Dier X adopteert dier Y



Voor redacteuren is het niet altijd feest. Er wordt niet dagelijks een vermoedelijke seriemoordenaar opgepakt of een aanslag gepleegd op de koningin. Om het aanzien van krant of website niet te veel te schaden trekt de redactie in tijden van journalistieke drainage het blik met herbruikbaar nieuws open. Dit is het type rioolnieuws waar slechts enkele variabelen aan veranderd hoeven te worden voor een sensationeel bericht.

Hier volgt een onvolledig overzicht van deze zogenaamde fillers, die niet zelden gaan over verre vieze landen waar het eventueel natrekken van de bron leidt tot hoge boetes dan wel gevangenisstraffen. Een stuk onder de evenaar / is later vaak nog bruikbaar.

Allereerst dier X adopteert dier Y. Gezellig dierennieuws om even warm van te worden op maandagochtend. Deze schattige vorm van broedparasitisme doet het altijd goed als opvulmateriaal. Opvallend is dat het blijkbaar altijd in het verre buitenland plaatsvindt, terwijl het hier toch werkelijk stikt van de huisdieren.

Maar er komt meer smullerij van onder de Kreeftskeerkring, waardoor de krant Telegraaf ook morgen weer goedgevuld zal zijn met wereldnieuws. Een bijna maandelijks terugkerend nieuwtje is namelijk het bericht van de door vrouw X afgebeten penis. Lullig nieuws zou je zeggen, maar het komt toch telkens weer op de voorpagina terecht.

Gelukkig valt er ook genoeg te beleven in het binnenland. Op de weg, bijvoorbeeld. Eens in de zoveel tijd duikt weer het bericht op van 'man rijdt x jaar zonder rijbewijs'. Een hinderlijk en vermoeiend artikel dat graag wordt ingezet om de laatste gaatjes te vullen. Gelukkig zit er ook één vrouw bij.

Voor wie toch liever wil lachen om prachtculturen kan zijn hart regelmatig ophalen bij de echte Mowgli. Wolfskinderen, of ze nou blaffen als honden of klapwieken als vogels, blijven toch tot de verbeelding spreken. Een greep uit het aanbod:

Wij verheugen ons in ieder geval al op de opvulnonsens in komkommertijd, om na enige serieuze zaken op 1 januari 2010 te kunnen melden dat ook dit jaar de jaarwisseling weer relatief rustig is verlopen. Alvast een gelukkig nieuwjaar!

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